It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
