I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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