I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
