either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize