Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
