think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
