wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
