I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
As shirtless as possible
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize