I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize