A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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