Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize