and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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