To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize