it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
