I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
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