i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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