explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
