the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
