what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
