Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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