Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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