im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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