Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize