I wish i was in the wii world.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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