im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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