The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
two words...techno handjob
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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