Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You made out with two different species that night
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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