Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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