Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
