vagina is talking i cant
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
dude. I can hear the air.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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