I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
