how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I hope mine doesn't look like that
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize