tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Randomize
