I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
