we have pet lesbian snakes
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
