so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
