I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
This house was built for laser tag.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
