you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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