Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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