Screwed.edu
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
