i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
