"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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