he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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