Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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