Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
