remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
