he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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