Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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