Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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