ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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