Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You're completely useless in the revolution.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
