Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Randomize
