literally had 100 drinks last night.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
