i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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