so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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