I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
