Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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