singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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