Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
