her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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