wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
